on being able to relax

Spring break could not have come sooner. I thought this semester was going to be my easiest one yet but I still find myself stressing out.

Stressing out about MCAT studying.

Stressing out about committee.

Stressing out about lab reports.

Stressing out about interviews.

Stressing out about exams.

Stressing out about presentations.

I guess what gets me the most is that I anticipated it being different. I anticipated having more down time and more time to relax. But that's exactly the reason I'm glad its spring break... finally. While I wish that I had the life where I could go on vacation and sit on the beach for the whole break, I'm most excited to have some time to relax. Its been so nice and so needed to be able to do absolutely today. I spent the day in sweats, watching Say Yes To The Dress and Keeping Up With The Kardashians while painting my nails and eating left-over pizza from dinner. (Yes I'm guilty of enjoying these shows.) And the best part of today is that I don't feel bad about any of it.

I don't have the creeping voice in my head saying I need to get things done. It's not telling me that there's laundry to do or that we don't have anything for dinner or that I need to be productive. While the rest of my break is going to be spent studying for my MCAT and spending time with my family, I have taken full advantage of a day for myself. Maybe I'll decide to shower and get dressed at some point but if I don't, there's always tomorrow. Maybe I'll manage to find something to make for dinner but if I don't, I'll eat a bowl of cereal. Maybe I can find something to be productive doing or maybe I'll read some of the book I'm in the middle of. Maybe, maybe not. And I'm completely okay with that.

+On a side note, I am very excited for my mom and sister to come to SD for a few days. It will be really great to have them in town. And I am also very excited to go home for a few days. I miss my house in Littleton and my family and plan to mix in a few fun excursions amidst my studying.