on who I am

i am...

... amazed how I am literally woken up some mornings, like this one, because my stomach is growling. How does that happen? I ate a big dinner last night and even indulged on a few delicious Samoa Girl Scout cookies before bed. A few years ago, I used to get sick to my stomach if I ate too soon after waking up and now my stomach has turned into a greedy beast that screams pancakes or omelets.

... sort of annoyed, yet still proud, that even with all the times I've gone to the gym this semester, nothing about my body is changing. I've been working out way more than I have since I've been in high school. And while I wasn't a significant victim of the dreaded "freshmen 15" I'm not in the same shape I was back then and that's what I want back. I guess its sort of a catch 22 because I can eat whatever I want and not have to think about calories or fat content and where it will be placed on my body... but at the same time, working out makes me want to see positive changes in my body too. Maybe my body's just slow? Yeah, that's it.

... feeling like the stress of MCAT studying hasn't fully reached the brim yet but that its hiding, waiting to explode. I try to study at least 3 days a week for at least a little while and I've made decent progress. As the procrastinator that I am I calculated yesterday, based on page numbers, that I am 62 percent of the way through my books. Which in my mind is farther than I thought I was. Yet I still have a sneaking suspicion that, come spring break, the steaming pot of stress is going to boil over... Hopefully since I have that feeling now I can act on it and prevent that from happening.

... missing home more and more lately. I think my mini-trip back to Littleton for spring break is going to be much needed. I love San Diego and the life I have here but there's something about home that's been calling on me lately. I miss my family, my puppy, meals I don't have to cook, shopping I don't have to do, and just the city of the 303. Maybe I miss just being a kid... maybe I just need a break.

... excited to go buy a new wet-suit for our dive trip to Antigua this summer. Mine doesn't fit anymore, which makes me want to go live on the treadmill till June, but none the less, I'm getting a new one.

... in need of my daily coffee. French vanilla or caramel? We shall see...