on my career decision

I honestly don't remember a day when I didn't know what I "wanted to be when I grow up" and I think I take that for granted. So many people these days go into school undecided but I've been decided since kindergarden. I could not imagine the stress that most college students have because they don't know what to do with their lives. And at some point they have to decide. They have to declare a major in something so that their time going to school isn't just wasted while trying to figure it out.

And how do you decide at that point? How do you say, "well I guess I like this enough to continue with it?" Maybe I have a different mentality about it in the fact that I want to be able to use the degree that I obtain. I don't want to be an english major working at a bank. I don't want to be a psychology major working in a department store. I work hard in the classes I take and want that work to pay off some day in my future. Then there's the other situation where someone knows they like a subject but has no idea what to do with it. Someone loves history but doesn't want to work in a museum or as a teacher or as a writer.... then what? You have a passion and no way to use it. I actually think that's the worse of the two and seriously sympathize with people stuck in that sinking boat.

My mom found a kids book of mine that is falling apart at the seams from being read so much... which book? I Want To Be A Doctor, featuring the one and only Big Bird from Sesame Street. And yes, I received this book when I was maybe four years old. That's how long I've known that I wanted to go into medicine, a whopping 17 years. I've been fortunate enough to never have that little voice in my head whisper to me "are you sure?" Or at least it never stuck around long enough for me to actually consider something else. I've had random thoughts about being something else but most of them were spurred from wanting to do what was cool to all the 10 year olds. Who wouldn't want to be an astronaut when your 5th grade class is studying space?

I've also been fortunate enough to love the field I've chosen and to be pretty good at it too. I'm typically not one to brag about myself and say "look at me and how good I am" but school has always been my thing, it's been what I've been really good at. So whether it's in my genes and I got the gift of smart-ness from my parents or if I've pushed myself hard enough whenever I can, I've been able to succeed in being a bio major and I hope *crosses fingers* that I have a good shot at getting into medicine.

Now, I'm sure you're thinking, ok sweet she's optimistic and has everything going for her doesn't she? And yes it seems that way as of right now but I have a looming decision coming that might change everything. As the girl who has dreamt of being a doctor since she can remember, I don't know what I would do if I don't get into medical school. I've never seriously considering any thing else, any sort of back-up, so I'll be left sitting in the dust if the image of getting into med school doesn't materialize. And yes, this is a very scary thought. Hopefully it doesn't happen, hopefully I get acceptance letters and I don't have to worry about any of this.....

Now I'm going to attempt to pour in as much chemistry as will fit into my already full brain for the rest of the day, wish me luck.