I've had to build my self image on my own, not that I don't have supportive family and friends now, but that wasn't always the case. In high school I had struggles with all relationships I was involved in; not just the boyfriend kind but the mother-daughter, the friend-friend... I had it all, which left me often feeling like I had nothing. For years, I tried to please everyone around me by conforming to the things they felt and believed. I like the same clothing, I went to the same services, I had the same group of friends. But I was lost. It wasn't until after graduation that the idea of having my own self, separate from those people around me and completely tailored to my own life, came and smacked me in the face. And I realized that deep within the conforming front I held for so long was a glimpse of the person I was supposed to be.
The guidance I received and the things that I learned were all from within my self and the experiences I had. I know I didn't always do the right thing and wasn't always the best friend/daughter/young woman, but hey, I did the best I could for being so alone. And while I had some serious self-doubt in those days, I pride myself that I've become who I am, on my own, and can be happy with the person I've become. But it literally tears me apart when someone thinks I feel something/do something/am someone that goes against my own definition of who I am.
The beliefs that I have and my opinions on everything in this world are truly 100% my own. Not to say that other people don't form their own self too but I was not able to build on the foundation laid before me. I was not guided into religion or self-respect or life goals from those around me and that's what makes me so defensive when someone misrepresents me. Friend or foe, I will defend myself. When I'm seen as someone I'm not, it goes against the triumph I've had through my struggles to make me who I am. I've gone through a lot, cliche I realize, to come to what I believe, so please don't try to take that away from me or act like I'm someone different.
Because in the end, I admit that I'm strong-willed but I believe I have the right to be. I believe that everyone should be able to voice their opinions, have their concerns and that it's okay for those to be different than others. Differences is what makes us human, differences is what brings people together and without them, who would you really be? You have not lived anyone's life but your own. You don't know what has shaped their personality and what makes their path different. You don't know what needs they have, the things they cherish or the things they take pride in. And while I may differ from you, I will also respect you, in every instance.
So how then, can you say my feelings are wrong?
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